Messy decorating with Tony.

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Posted by Ian on December 17, 2020 at 15:20:50

During this last summer at the chateau we have been taking “advantage” of having no guests to complete a few projects around the place. Having done all the easy jobs it got down to the time when we had to tackle the biggest room in the place. The room had once been the ballroom but had been divided up into five separate rooms with flimsy partition walls. Luckily whoever had done the work had taken care to box-in all the ornate plaster cornices, panelling on the walls and the four circular roses along the length of the original room from which had hung some huge chandeliers – sadly long since gone. We know how the room looked originally as we had found some early photographs and a set of designer’s drawings that we had discovered in a chest in the attics. So we decided it would be nice to decorate it as it had been when first build. The only big problem, apart from the decorating itself, was the floor. Originally laid with giant parquet in a herringbone pattern, it had been removed and covered in what we discovered, to our surprise, was lino in a garish black and white check.

Taking down the partition walls was fun – there’s a certain satisfaction in using a large sledge hammer – and the only problem was dealing with all the dust. By the end of a day of demolition, Tony and I were both covered from head to toe in dust and despite wearing safety goggles and mouth masks, it was still a choking experience. We were both wearing old jeans and tees and there was so much dust that they were a uniform dull grey. When Tony shook his head as we stepped outside and then brushed his hands through his hair it looked like a dust storm had arrived, I was in much the same state. Without guests around and the need to look smart and presentable we have both grown full beards and let our hair grow, so we both look rather shaggy to say the least.

We decided that the only way to get rid of all the dust was to stand in the yard and hose ourselves down, letting all the dust wash away down the outside drains. It was a hot day too so it was a real treat to stand under the cold water and get a thorough soaking. As we washed the dust out of our clothes we stripped off each item and hung it on the line to dry. Finally undressed and clean we headed to the pool for a relaxing swim, there is something very relaxing about swimming naked – very liberating - in warm water with the sun beating down and shimmering on the surface.

The next day we carefully washed the walls and ceiling down which was not too bad a job as having been covered up for the last goodness knows how many years, it was not too bad apart from a few spiders’ webs and so on. The ornate plaster had also retained its colours pretty well so were able to carefully chip off a few larger mouldings and take them along to the local DIY store and get some paint to match the colours. We had to order some size and faux gold leaf on-line to touch-up the gilding. A few evenings watching YouTube videos on how to do that should bring us up to speed.

Needless to say the work of washing the walls and ceiling down left us both with plenty of opportunities to get our jeans and tees wet again; having a large wet mop stuffed in your face and then swiped across your chest and poked in your crotch is no help in maintaining balance atop a tall step-ladder, by lunchtime we were both quite wet so we broke all the house rules and jumped in the pool for a swim and then sat eating lunch in the sun in our wet clothes. I have to say I agree with whoever said in these forums that wearing soaking wet M&S microfibre boxer-briefs under wet trousers/jeans is a great sensation; it really is, as they mould themselves around every bit they cover and cling nicely whilst not feeling at all bulky. Tony says they enhance the feel of the body too, but that’s another story….. suffice to say we got no more work done that day.

The next day the walls and ceiling were bone dry again. It was still a hot day, well into the 90s, so we weren’t sure if it was a good day to start painting with the paint maybe drying too quickly in the heat. We had decided to paint everything in a slightly off-white colour as a base coat and then apply colour and gilding to the parts that were shown as such in the original drawings and photos we had as well as the pictures we had taken. Our thinking was that the white base-coat would make the colours more luminous than if done straight on top of the dulled original paint.

It was Tony who started the paint war – it WAS ……. on my honour! - and by lunchtime we had the ceiling and one wall fully painted with just the ornate ceiling roses and some of the moulded plasterwork to be done. It was lucky we were using a water based emulsion as I can tell you, even that is not easy to wash off your balls after someone has poured half a litre down the inside of your pants. There was paint everywhere; painted across our jeans with rollers, plashed across tees, smeared across faces and into hair. We soaked ourselves with the hose on several occasions just to keep the emulsion liquid and carried on working without a break until mid-afternoon when we had got the three other walls done – well, two really as one is almost fully glazed with floor to ceiling windows. At that stage we were running out of the white emulsion and just had the dregs left in the cans we had opened, so it seemed daft to open more just for an hour or two’s work.

That is when it got silly. Tony filled his five litre tin with water and mixed up the dregs of paint until it was all dissolved and then decided that the best use for that mixture was to pour it over me, soaking hair, tee and jeans in what looked like milk. The only good thing about it was that he had used cold water which was refreshing, but otherwise it just felt horribly slimy and made my clothes stick to me more than normal, but not in a good feeling way. Tony thought it very funny, but when I then did the same to him, he rather agreed and we hastily hosed each other down as we washed the paint out until each item of clothing seemed clean, stripping off until we were left in our underwear, by which time we were both hard and feeling rather randy, so we adjourned to a warm shower and had some fun there getting all those parts clean of paint, which was great fun as you really do need someone else to do close-up inspections to ensure all the paint has washed off, I don’t think any of us are flexible enough to inspect our own underside from below by ourselves, if you see what I mean! Nothing beats a good thorough sight, touch and taste exam in my view.

The rest of the work was less messy and required concentration and careful application of the coloured paints and gold leaf. The room looked fantastic when we had finished. We managed to source some old parquet flooring from a demolition salvage yard – mor than we needed but I’m sure we will find a use for it – a got a local guy in to lay it, he’s retired now but used to lay flooring of all sorts for a living – and he did a far better job than we ever could. We have found two chandeliers so far and are waiting to source another two before we put them up.

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